


i found

by klari19



Category: Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angel/Demon Relationship, Blood and Injury, Dissociation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mythical Beings & Creatures, im sorry i dont know what else to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 23:27:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7195562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klari19/pseuds/klari19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“My only crime was to love you, and if I have to be punished for that, then so be it. I will never, ever regret the feelings that I had and still have for you,” said Leaks, voice broken as he lifted his gaze towards Shui. And Shui realized then that what had dripped onto the floor were Leaks’ tears. </p><p>Written for <a href="http://iixvai.tumblr.com/">Ollie</a> as part of the <a href="http://nitrochiexchange.tumblr.com/">NitroCHi Exchange</a> on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i found

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Ollie! I picked ShuiLeaks to go with your first prompt, Demon AU, and wrote this for you... I hope you enjoy it, and I'm truly very sorry I couldn't write something happier ;;
> 
> The title of this fic comes from the song of the same name sang by Amber Run, which you can find [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj6V_a1-EUA). I highly recommend that you read the fic first and listen to the song after, so that you can have maximum feels effect.

He walked into the Palace of the Gods with the grace of one even though he was only an Angel. His soft footsteps, barely heard over the silence of the long and empty corridors, were slow and elegant – _aerial_ , although his wings were dutifully folded against his back with their tips trailing onto the white marble floor, as the rules required it.

He didn’t really know why a _rule_ had had to be created for that – he would have just obeyed if it would have been asked of him – but he followed it as his heart and his superiors, the Gods, demanded. He thought that maybe the rule had been created because his wings were so large that it would cause more problems than not if he tried to use them inside the Palace, but that was just a supposition of his. He never complained and never asked, “ _Why?_ ”, because he knew that would give him nothing in return. And, in the end, he wasn’t too interested in finding out the reasons.

As he walked past the tall golden columns from which were hung long banners made of white silk, the Divine Room appeared before him, its interior remarkably newer and more beautiful than that of the rest of the Palace. That was the room in which the meeting of the Assembly of Gods was taking place, and the room to which he had been summoned that day again.

A semi-circle of thrones, carved into white marble and embellished with fine sheets of gold, faced him inside the room. There were seven magnificent thrones, one for each of the Gods – Memory, Truth, Patience, Wisdom, Peace, Loyalty, and

_Life._

All of them wore long silk tunics embroidered with threads of gold, perfectly matching the aesthetic of the thrones, the room, and the Palace itself.

He was more than used to seeing that immense demonstration of beauty and virtue, being called before the Gods more often than not. Still, he bowed deeply, feeling almost out of breath in front of such a magnificent spectacle.

“Rise, Shui.”

When Shui straightened his back he was met with the gentle yet piercing gaze of the God of Life, the one who had spoken to him. With a soft movement of their hand, they motioned Shui forward, and Shui instantly obeyed.

Reaching what he thought to be a reasonable distance away from the Gods, Shui halted his steps and bowed his head at them. They all smiled at him in return.

“Thank you,” said the God of Memory, “for agreeing to meet us today once again.”

“It is my duty,” said Shui.

“As expected of our highest-ranked Angel,” said the God of Loyalty. “There’s a reason why we consider you our… best Angel.” They smiled fondly at Shui as pink dusted the Angel’s cheeks, his chest filling with pride.

“Yes.” The unmistakable voice of the God of Life rose once more into the large room. “And, once again, we want you to investigate for us, if you may.”

“Always,” Shui answered in a heartbeat. “Whatever you need me to do, I will do it.”

The God of Life nodded with a smile. “Good,” they said, softly. Then: “There have been—disturbances in the Human world.”

Shui frowned a bit. “Disturbances?”

“A better way to say it would be that—the equilibrium between Life and Death has been disturbed. By the Underworld, more specifically.”

“The Underworld…” Shui whispered to himself, thoughtful.

“Yes,” the God of Life proceeded. “Apparently, many couples, same-sex and heterosexual alike, have been targeted lately. In those, always only one of the members has been driven to suicide for no apparent reason.”

Shui inhaled, shocked. He pondered that information for a moment, then asked: “Is it a move from the Ruler of Death? Could it be some kind of… grudge?” It was unlikely, but he decided to ask the question nonetheless.

“If this is part of a revenge plan, I haven’t been able to pick up the signs of such a thing,” said the God of Peace. “The only thing that we know is that it’s abnormal and that it’s caused by a mystical being.”

“Strange…” Shui whispered.

“Indeed,” said the God of Life. “This is a very strange situation, which is why we have decided to entrust you with it. We think—no, we _know_ that you will be able to find out what is happening, and bring it to an end.” They paused, then: “Whoever is causing this will undergo a trial and see their crimes punished by the Divine Law. Bring us the culprit, and we will raise your honor.”

Shui felt his wings vibrate lightly, pride and joy blooming in his chest once more. He slowly fell down to one knee, the distinction with which he was treated almost knocking him off his feet. He spoke with his head down, eyes closed. “Thank you for placing your trust in this humble servant. I will fulfill your request no matter what.”

“Success,” said the Assembly all at once. That was Shui’s dismissal.

Shui rose to his feet, bowed once more, and exited the room. His steps were as peaceful and slow as when he’d entered it, but now Shui did feel as though he were flying, transported by the honor of being held so high into the Assembly’s expectations.

When he reached the more populated parts of the Palace, the Angels didn’t ask him why he had such a wide smile on his lips.

✧ ✧ ✧

“Daddy!”

Tap, tap, tap. Shui turned around just in time to catch a young Angel about five years old who’d thrown itself to him, knowing that Shui would surely open his arms at the right moment.

“Hello, Konoe,” Shui murmured into his son’s hair, then kissed his forehead. “How was school today? Did you learn a lot?”

“Yes! Teacher Bardo talked about the history of the Human world. He told us stories about castles and royalty during today’s class!” Passion and excitement dripped from Konoe’s words as he spoke, stars sparkling in his beautiful green eyes.

“Oh, how interesting is that!” said Shui, trying to smooth down a wild strand of light brown hair standing up on the top of Konoe’s head. He quickly gave up. “I can’t wait to hear all those stories, but you’ll have to tell them to dad when he comes back from his mission.”

Shui could see Konoe’s expression slowly crumble down as he spoke.

“I’ll try not to be gone for too long,” whispered Shui, gently pressing his forehead to Konoe, trying to reassure him as best as he could.

“Okay,” said Konoe, though he could still hear a faint sadness in his voice.

Shui tried something more: “Every night, I’ll think of you before going to sleep. Are you going to think about me too?”

“Of course!” Konoe exclaimed. “I always think of you!” Shui chuckled softly at that, and Konoe laughed along with him.

Embracing each other, with their arms as well as with their wings encircling one another, they irradiated profound love.

After a moment, Shui put Konoe down on his feet and stroked his hair. “Go now, the Angels will take care of you.”

“I know, daddy,” Konoe said softly, hugging his father’s leg. “Come back quickly!” he exclaimed then, and let go. Konoe bounced away on his little feet, his white wings – with their tips speckled with a light brown color – jiggling behind him.

Shui watched him go, a gentle smile pulling up the corners of his lips as he saw the Angels greet him happily as he passed them. He knew Konoe would be alright. Besides, there was nothing to fear in the Palace as everyone was like a family in there, so there was no place for doubt in Shui’s heart.

Turning a corner, Shui finally reached the room which was used to prepare the Angels for their missions in the Human world. Bowing his head lightly and smiling at the Angels he crossed on his path, Shui pushed the doors open and entered the small room.

Growing up, every Angel was taught various things about the Human world. Some of those things were related to the common Human clothing guidelines, which were very important whenever the Angels were assigned to work in the Human world – since they were forbidden to show their true form other than to other Angels or mystical beings.

Summoning his knowledge about normal Human clothing, Shui went to the wardrobe and picked a pair of pants, a shirt, a jacket, and a pair of shoes, then put the items down onto a nearby table. Next, he stepped towards the middle of the room, and proceeded to disrobe himself. The layers of plain white silk fell smoothly to the floor once he unpinned the silver brooch – engraved with his angelic sigil – from his shoulder. He picked up his chiton from the floor, placed it into the wardrobe and closed its doors. The easy part was done.

Then, Shui took a deep breath, and focused on his wings. They were enormous, the biggest and most beautiful wings any Angel had ever had since the Beginning of Time. He could feel their comfortable weight on his back, not heavy but not quite light either. What he had to do was to absorb them, in a way, into his body so that he could hide them to the Human’s eyes. _That_ was the difficult part of his preparation.

Shui had already done this a few times before, therefore he knew how to mostly brace himself for it.

Kneeling down, Shui put both of his palms down on the floor to steady himself – and for support as well – and, with his eyes tightly closed, felt how his back seemed as though it was being burned with a hot iron as his wings fused with the delicate skin. Sweat pearled on Shui’s forehead as he winced and gasped, his arms and legs shaking underneath him as he waited for the pain to be over. And finally, after long and painful minutes which felt like hours, it ended.

Shui exhaled a deep breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in, then stood up carefully on slightly wobbling legs. As always, he felt slightly misbalanced now that he couldn’t feel the weight of his large wings on his back.

Slowly, he padded towards the mirror standing in the corner of the room, and turned around so that his back faced the reflective glass. Pulling his long hair over his shoulder and looking back, Shui saw how his immense wings had disappeared and only left any trace that they existed by the black markings in the form of his original wings, but smaller, spread all over the skin of his back. He pressed careful fingers over his scapula, touching black over white, and felt only a slight warmth on his skin, the burning hotness he’d felt before having faded at last.

It all seemed to have gone well, he figured. And his wings shouldn’t be able to reappear anytime soon if he focused enough and directed the right amount energy towards the act of keeping them into his skin. It would be tiring, but he would be able to maintain them like that at least during the day. Then, at night, when it was more difficult to see and he could hide himself away, he would figure out how to conceal them.

With a small smile, Shui reached for the clothes on the table and put them on. When he was finished, he gazed back into the mirror to check that all the buttons were buttoned up correctly, and nodded. Then, he proceeded to put on and lace the shoes, which was a rather difficult task since Angels wore simply nothing on their feet. But eventually, Shui was able to secure the last knot on the fine shoestrings, and he was finally ready to go.

The door in the back of the room slowly opened itself then, and Shui walked with determined steps towards it.

Once he’d crossed the doorframe, Shui spread his wings wide at his sides and above his head, heart beating heavily in his chest when he realized it had been quite a long time since he’d gotten to use them, and finally took off. He was swallowed by darkness as he crossed the border between the Divine and the Human worlds.

✧ ✧ ✧

Loud and hectic.

That’s how Shui always found the Human world to be whenever he had to go to it during his missions. But, for some reason, this time he now found it even worse than in any other of his previous times there. Still, he knew that he had to quickly adapt to this new environment if he didn’t want to be discovered, so he willed himself to act like a “normal” Human being.

With a frown deforming his usually calm and beautiful features, Shui walked fast on the busy sidewalk, his shoulders occasionally bumped by random pedestrians with their heads lowered just like his. He apologized to all of them even though most of them didn’t even seem to notice the contact.

Soon, Shui arrived to a small shop in which he could hide away from the confusion of the streets for a moment. Absentmindedly, he picked up a newspaper from a nearby shelf and gazed at the feature article. Its title struck him instantly as it was exactly what he was looking for.

**_Suicide Epidemic?_ **

_Dozens of teenagers and young adults have been found dead in their houses over the last few weeks. The police have confirmed each case to be one of suicide, but revealed that none of the victims left explanations as to why they took their lives. Family and friends, devastated by the situation, mourn the loss of their close ones as the police investigates this “suicide epidemic” and what – or who – might be causing it._

Shui frowned. As always, newspaper articles gave only vague information about the events. Though there was something interesting about this particular one: the police were already trying to look for a “who”, and that might be useful in Shui’s own investigation.

The footer of the article indicated that there would be a ceremony held in the memory of the lost ones the next day. Not really trusting his memory for that sort of thing – amongst the Angels, that was known to be one of, and if not, Shui’s only flaw – Shui decided to buy the newspaper and take it with him. As always, the right amount of money needed to make his purchase appeared at the bottom of his jacket pocket when he stuffed his hand into it at the checkout.

When Shui stepped outside of the small shop, a light rain had begun pouring down over the city. Everybody had taken out their umbrellas, and the ones who had forgotten them ran on the sidewalks while holding newspapers or plastic bags over their heads. Shui inhaled, scrutinizing intently the spectacle taking place before him, and pressed his hand over the small bump on his jacket. He would not be using his newspaper to cover himself from the rain.

 _But I do need to find a place to stay for the night_ , Shui thought to himself, and stepped out into the pouring rain.

✧ ✧ ✧

The tiny inn found near the center of the city was old and insanely cheap for its highly strategic location, but it was good enough for Shui to feel comfortable and safe enough to unwind and let his wings reappear for the night.

The sensation like his skin was tearing apart started slowly fading away once his wings were finally laid out at his back, a good three quarters of them hanging off the edge of the bed and resting on the floor, limp and tired just as he was.

After verifying that the newspaper was still folded inside his jacket and shirt placed on the chair beside the bed, Shui could finally rest away the exhaustion which had build inside him as he fought to keep his identity hidden away from the Human population. Konoe’s smile appeared in his mind just as his consciousness slowly started to drift into the depths of slumber.

✧ ✧ ✧

The memorial service was held in a church, the insides of the building dimly illuminated by the soft morning light coming in through the small windows on each of its sides.

Although it humored Shui how outdated the Human beliefs were – the ruling of the Single God having ended long ago in the Divine world – he genuinely enjoyed the calm which reigned into the Human churches. Those were places where everybody, no matter who they were, could come and find peace in their hearts and minds. Angels, especially, were more than grateful to have small havens like that in which they could take a moment to just _breathe_ while they were in the Human world and away from their Palace, their home.

Walking slowly between the attendants, some of them speaking softly, some of them weeping into each other’s arms, Shui made his way to the transept. There, something clenched painfully inside his chest as he gazed at the images of the ones who were no more. Some of them seemed to be no older than eighteen years old, and yet they wouldn’t see the rest of their years unravel before them. And there were an awful lot of them, young and not too young as well.

 _This is truly… sad…_ Shui thought, walking slowly in front of the different images, feeling as if the line of images had no end.

After looking for a moment at the image of a girl sat comfortably on a park bench with a gentle smile curling up the corners of her lips – kneeling in front of the picture was another young girl sobbing silently into her hands –, Shui’s attention was then drawn to a small child running towards the photo of a young man.

“Why don’t we go put flowers on that bench my brother really liked to sit on with his girlfriend? What do you say, eh?”

Shui smiled softly at that, and watched as both of the child’s parents came up to stand in front of the picture as well, each one of them taking one of their child’s hands in theirs. Both of the parent’s eyes were red and puffy from crying for far too long.

“That’s a wonderful idea, dear,” said one of them.

“We’ll go tomorrow morning, okay?” said the other.

And then all three of them fell into a painful silence. Shui averted his gaze, giving them the privacy they needed, and continued to watch the rest of the images.

Boys and girls, old and young, Shui passed in front of each of their pictures, respectfully bowing his head at each image and at the families and partners standing in front of them. With each step he took his heart grew heavier and heavier. The smiles, the brightness captured in their faces, the joy of life irradiating from each of their portraits contrasted painfully with how they had decided to leave the living realm. Shui wondered just what had pushed them to—

“Hello. Were you a friend of Haiko? My daughter?” Softly. A woman had appeared at his side.

Shui realized that he’d stopped right in front of the portrait of yet another young girl, and, lost in his thoughts, hadn’t realized he’d been staring at it for a few long minutes already.

“Uh. N-not really…” he said. It wasn’t a lie – the God of Truth would give him a painfully long lecture if he ever dared lying, just as he did to anyone – but it wasn’t exactly the truth either. “I’m sorry… for your loss, and for intruding.” Honest.

“Thank you,” said the woman, and Shui saw a muscle slide in her jaw as she closed her eyes tightly for a short moment. “But don’t be sorry for being here. I’m glad you are, really. It makes me strangely happy,” she said, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips, “because now that she’s—gone…” There was a short pause. “Now that she’s not here anymore, I’ve gotten to meet a lot of her friends and acquaintances which I didn’t know before. It’s nice…”

Shui smiled back at her, nodding. The woman continued speaking without even needing Shui to prompt her, which was a relief for him.

“Haiko, Haiko… I just wish I could have seen her more. She was always hanging out with her girlfriend around that lovers’ bench in the city park. I never had anything against their relationship, no, on the contrary, I always supported them with all my heart. They were deeply in love and wanted to spend time together, and I let them, but… a mother needs to see her child as well, you know?”

“I know… Oh, how do I know…” Shui spoke softly with his head lowered, the image of his own son flashing before his eyes briefly. He quickly dismissed it, because his son was safe and sound at the Palace, surrounded by loving and respectful Angels, and he would be seeing him as soon as his mission ended.

Pondering the woman’s words, something clicked into his mind.

“Lady…?” Shui began, hesitating.

“Kurosawa,” she said with a smile.

“Lady Kurosawa, forgive me. You said Haiko liked to go to a—park bench with her girlfriend?”

“That’s right. It’s the one located at the very heart of the great city park, the one that’s right across the street. I’ve been going there every morning since then…” she finished in a soft voice, her glistening eyes directed to the image of her daughter.

The photo of a girl sitting on a park bench, a child wanting to put flowers on a park bench, in memory of his brother because he liked sitting there, and a mother speaking about her daughter enjoying spending moments on a park bench along with her girlfriend… _A park bench_.

 _Third time’s the charm_ , Shui thought to himself, catching on the lead.

“I think,” said Shui, “that I’m going to go pay my respects to Haiko in there as well.”

“That’s very sweet of you…” The end of her sentence ended with an implied question mark as she lifted one of her eyebrows.

“Shui.”

“Thank you, Shui,” said lady Kurosawa, gently squeezing Shui’s hands in her own. He gave her a smile in return and bowed lightly in front of her.

After that, Shui remained inside the church for a while more, speaking for brief and heartfelt moments to the family members and partners of the lost ones. Nobody questioned him about whether or not he knew the victims, and he never tried to confirm or deny their unspoken assumptions, if they had any. Shui spoke to them honestly, the sadness of their loss affecting him as well – as an Angel, he had a special connection to the emotions of the Human beings – and prompting him to pay his respects to each of them.

Lastly, once he felt like the ceremony was about to come to an end, Shui proceeded to quietly leave the service.

As he stepped outside, Shui decided not to go to the bench just then. He thought that going right after the ceremony would mean to be surrounded by the mourning family members and partners of the victims. People who would be there to, maybe, get a hold of their lost ones’ memories. And he didn’t want to be surrounded by people then; he wanted to be by himself when he inspected the bench. What was there to inspect? He didn’t know yet, hence the reason why he would wait until nightfall before heading towards the bench, the when he was mostly sure he would have the calm and solitude he needed to make a clear analysis.

And so, instead of making his way directly to the bench after crossing the road and entering the park, Shui took a path leading all around the green area and walked.

Once the day began to end, the sun setting down a golden mantle over the city and park, Shui took one of the paths which said to lead to the center of the park and made his way further inside, underneath the tall trees. He followed the path for a long while, and a multitude of small lamps hung on the low branches of the trees flickered to light at some point during his walk. He passed strangers which, rather than entering the park just as he was, were making their way out, which was was a good sign. Shui kept on walking.

The path soon began turning left, and finally came to an opening. There, in the middle of the small clearing, surrounded by trees and delicate bushes, was the bench.

It was a rather simple bench, Shui noticed upon seeing it for the first time, its wood and metal joints looking old and a little poorly maintained, but… it was still rather charming in its simplicity nonetheless.

Stepping carefully on the dirt path leading towards the bench, Shui gazed at it with furrowed brows. There seemed to be absolutely nothing out of place in there, and yet three of the victims had had this very spot in common, and he was more than sure that the rest of them had it as well.

 _So this place_ has _to be playing an important role in this whole situation, right?_ thought Shui, a little confused.

He rounded the seat, inspected its surrounding bushes as well as the trees all around the clearing. Under the soft light of the small lamps he found – nothing at all.

Exhausted, feeling his energy reaching its limits after a full day of keeping his wings hidden, Shui decided to sit on the bench for a while before heading back to his small hotel room. Thankfully, his resting place wasn’t too far away from there, Shui recalled to himself with relief.

The old wood creaked just a little under his weight when he let himself slowly fall onto the seat. Shui, as for himself, exhaled a heavy breath and looked up at the quickly darkening sky. The sound of the night owls, which had replaced the chirping of the small daily birds, began gently filling his ears as he gazed up. He thought about Konoe and the other Angels, a soft and comfortable breeze brushing his cheeks and the tip of his nose as he smiled.

Night had finally fallen, and just as Shui was about to get up a current of air – too cold for the season, Shui realized – made his breath catch in his throat and pushed him back down onto the bench. Surprised, Shui quickly looked from one side to the other in slight alarm, and noticed two things at the same time:

One, none of the bushes or trees had been disturbed by the chilly current of air Shui had just felt.

Two, someone had appeared at his side and was sitting close to him on the bench, gazing at him with a pair of golden eyes which seemed to glow into the night.

“Um,” said Shui, gaping a little, dumbfound beyond words.

In that moment Shui was able to see a vast range of expressions cross the other person’s face – from neutrality, to surprise and confusion, to something akin to pure terror – before that same person vanished as quickly as they’d appeared.

The cold wind bit his skin once more, and Shui pulled his jacket closer to himself as he gazed at the spot on which had appeared a person, only for a few seconds, and only to disappear again without even speaking to him.

By now, even though he’d never met one in the flesh and had only read about them in the books of the Palace Library, Shui was almost completely sure that it was a Demon from the Underworld – especially because of the cold current of air it had produced upon its arrival and departure –, but he found it a bit obfuscating that it hadn’t even _introduced_ itself to Shui. Sure, that was most probably the Demon which was causing the problems in the balance between Life and Death, something which was definitely _not okay_ , but it was common decency between mystical beings to greet each other and introduce themselves when they saw each other, even in difficult situations such as this one.

 _Strange_ , Shui thought.

And just _why_ had the Demon looked so horrified when he’d seen Shui? He was supposed to look as normal as a regular Human, but— Shui quickly patted his back, a slight fright making his throat go dry for a moment, until he confirmed that his wings were still securely hidden under his skin.

Shui couldn’t find a single logical explanation to what had just happened, and after remaining seated on the bench for a few moments more, undergoing light shock, he finally decided to make his way back to the hotel and rest for the night.

As he walked on the path illuminated by the soft light of the lamps, the image of the Demon reappeared into Shui’s mind – golden eyes, braided ash brown hair, and a black tunic. Apart from its ability to vanish, nothing else signalled that it was, in fact, a Demon. It’d come and gone so fast, without a single word…

 _This Demon is a bit shy_ , thought Shui, _considering that he’s possibly the one who’s been wreaking havoc._

And little, very little inside of Shui, something else began to bloom as he thought about the strange Demon. Something he absolutely didn’t want to think about because it had no justification. A strange sense of – familiarity.

✧ ✧ ✧

The following evening, Shui went back to the bench. The old wood was still warm underneath him when he sat on it, having been heated during the entire day by the rays of sun coming in through the opening of the trees all day. The few remaining birds chirped softly all around, undisturbed by the faraway sounds of the busy city, each of them slowly beginning to retreat to their sleeping branches.

He soon noticed that even though the bench seemed to be – or to have been – the preferred hang-out spot for a large number of couples, there was barely anyone coming near it anymore. Whether the people were driven away because of his presence, because of the recent events, or because of something else, Shui didn’t know, and it was slightly confusing.

Right before the sun set completely beyond the horizon, right at the time where the light became all golds and oranges and yellows and the shadows began darkening, an elderly couple passed in front of Shui, brown bags pressed against their chests as they peacefully ate pieces of bread with vegetables and meat stuffed inside – sandwiches, Shui recalled from his lessons. As he saw them, Shui wondered about how it felt to be hungry, to feel the need to eat to be able to live, to survive.

Shui waited, and waited as the day gave way to the night, feeling himself grow tired and even more confused as nothing but questions spiralled around in his mind and the Demon didn’t seem to want to show up.

_Who is this Demon?_

_Is it the one responsible for this tragedy?_

_If so, why is it provoking it?_

_What does it expect to get from this?_

_What does it need to stop?_

Shui sighed and shifted on the seat, his bottom starting to ache after being seated for too long on a firm surface. After a while, his shoulders began to slump as the last amounts of his energy began being drained for the purpose of concealing his wings. He was very tired, and a tiny bit annoyed.

Long after the only sounds Shui could hear were the _hoot hoots_ of the night owls and the soft rustling of the leaves brushed by the breeze, he finally realized that the Demon would not be appearing that night. He didn’t know the reason why, and he knew he wouldn’t get an answer even if he sat there the whole night, so he made the decision to let the matter go for the moment.

Falling heavily atop his bed a while later, shirtless and exhausted, Shui barely even felt the moment when his wings finally detached themselves from his skin.

✧ ✧ ✧

On the third night after Shui had first seen it, the Demon finally made its appearance once more.

Shui had been sitting on the bench for a while, waiting for the final rays of daylight to die out and give way to the night when, once two or three starts had deemed it the right time to peek out into the dark sky, a cold current had risen around him. As the first night, none of the leaves shook or rustled under the pressure of the wind; only his hair and clothes suffered a light disarray.

Blinking, Shui gazed at the Demon sitting beside him. He looked just like the first time he’d seen it, and it seemed as if nothing had happened since then. As if he’d never been scared after setting his gaze upon Shui, as if he’d never quickly vanished, as if the night in between the first one and this one had never occurred.

The Demon spoke for the first time then: “You’re alone.” A fact, not a question. Its voice seemed to be just as cold as the wind it had invoked upon its arrival.

“Yes, I am,” said Shui, softly. “Is that unsettling to you?”

The Demon’s gaze turned to one of solid ice, as if to prove Shui nothing was “unsettling” to it. But it was a lost cause as Shui had already seen it lose its composure in front of him. Still, he said nothing about it, and the Demon didn’t answer his question either. Instead—

“What do you want.”

Shui gazed at the Demon for a moment before answering, “Are you… are you the Demon provoking this “suicide epidemic”?”

“If you’re here then you already know the answer to that question.” Cold, impassive.

Shui nodded, thoughtful. That was about right.

Then, again: “What do you want.”

Shui drew in a deep breath. “I want to know,” he said, “why you’re doing this.”

A flash of guilt fell upon the Demon’s features at that, but it was gone before Shui could confirm that it had been real.

“You’re an ambitious one, aren’t you?”

“Well, you’re the one who wants to know what I want.”

The Demon smirked, its golden eyes shining brighter into the night. “True…” it said, his words trailing away for a second before he proceeded: “But that’s not what you really want to know, is it?”

Shui inhaled sharply and instinctively leaned back a little. The Demon gazed at him with intent, a glint of mischief… and _knowledge_ in its piercing eyes.

“Think about it, you’ll tell me later.”

 _What…?_ Confusion rose in Shui’s mind, stronger this time.

The Demon continued without giving Shui a time of grace to think about what it’d said: “Now, tell me something. What are you? Humans can’t usually see me, which means you’re a mystical being, but I don’t know what kind you are.” Nothing in its voice or expression indicated that it was truly curious about the answer.

Shui paused for a moment, hesitant to reveal his identity to this cold and overly confusing Demon. But, in the end, he decided to say it: “I’m an Angel.”

“Ah.” Curt, uninterested. Then: “We’re complete opposites.” And there was something like feigned laughter in its voice.

Shui gazed at the Demon’s profile for a while, studying him from the side as the latter looked up at the night sky – its eyes were brighter than the stars and yet sadder than all the misfortunes of the universe combined.

“What’s your name?”

Shui blinked, his thoughts scattering. The Demon had spoken without looking at him. After a few moments, he answered in a soft voice: “I’m Shui.”

“Shui…” repeated the Demon, softly, with its eyes still directed to the sky above. For some reason Shui didn’t know – didn’t _want_ to know – the Demon’s voice carried something like nostalgia. Though that was highly contradictive to its impassive expression.

Shui shook his head, frowning. “Is this how you lure your victims to the end of their lives? By making up light chatter with them first and then twisting their thoughts?”

The Demon turned to look at him, exhaling deeply as a bored expression fell over its features. “I _just_ told you: Humans can’t see me. How forgetful can you be, really?”

Shui flushed lightly, and averted his gaze. “My mistake,” he mumbled.

The Demon chuckled mockingly. From the corner of his eye Shui saw it go back to its stargazing activity.

“All I do is whisper the truth in their ears. They’ll feel it like a gentle breeze, nothing more, and the words will develop into their minds. Then they’ll do the rest of the job by themselves.”

The leaves rustled softly, and an owl hooted somewhere.

“…What do you mean by “the truth”?” Shui inquired, his frown growing deeper.

“Oops, time’s up,” said the Demon then, and the cold wind rose once more.

“Wait!”

Bright gold met deep green. Shui gulped down.

“At least… tell me your name, please.”

The Demon lowered its eyes, a bitter smirk pulling up the corners of its lips. And then it was gone. Wordless, again.

Shui sighed, letting himself fall back against the backrest as he shook his head once more. A soft breeze rose then, swishing gently around him as it brushed his long hair. And then Shui heard it, a gentle whisper into his ear.

“ _Leaks…_ ”

✧ ✧ ✧

“So. Did you think about what you really want to know?” said Leaks the next night, lazily gazing at the end of his long braid as he played with it.

“I did…” Shui began. Leaks turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised. “…not.” Rolling his eyes, Leaks went back to twiddling his braid. Shui tried to save himself. “But I’ll figure it out! Eventually.”

“Alright,” said Leaks, snickering.

Silence fell above them, peaceful and comfortable. And somehow in between all of the confusion created by Leaks… Shui felt at home. Which was odd since neither of them had anything in common and they barely knew each other. And yet, Shui felt like—

“Hey, you have all the information you need to know about what I’ve done. So why haven’t you given me away to your—Gods—or something? They must have surely asked you something like that.” There was genuine curiosity in Leak’s tone this time when he spoke.

“There is, actually, going to be a trial,” said Shui. “But you haven’t really told me _why_ you’re doing this. All you said was something about telling the victims “the truth” but other than that…” he trailed off, looking intently into Leak’s glowing eyes. “I don’t know your true motives. So I can’t bring you before the Gods yet.”

“My motives are unimportant,” said Leaks, and his gaze flickered to the side when he said it.

Shui frowned. “Of course they are!” He slid closer to Leaks on the seat, and Leaks stared at him with an eyebrow raised, surprised. “I need to know them!” Shui said. “I—want to—help you, Leaks…” he finished in a murmur, lowering his gaze to his own lap.

A beat of silence.

Then, Shui heard Leaks’ voice rise into the night, confusion clearly audible through his words. “Why would you want to help me?”

“I… don’t know…” said Shui, and his shoulders slumped in defeat, and he heard Leaks breathe out through his nose in annoyance. Shui grit his teeth and shut his eyes tightly; the words came out of him without even needing him to think about them. “I don’t know! All that I know is that—there’s _something_ telling me that I need to help you. It’s this feeling in my heart, just like when I follow orders out of honor. But it’s—different as well. It’s a different feeling. Much, much deeper in my heart… I don’t know…” Weakly.

“Well, you’re not following your orders by doing this,” said Leaks.

“There’s—something—I don’t know what, but it’s preventing me from doing so.”

With his head lowered and his eyes directed towards the ground, Shui didn’t see the muscle slide in Leaks’ jaw when he heard Shui’s words.

Leaks grumbled something then, but Shui couldn’t grasp the meaning of what he said.

“What?” said Shui, finally lifting his head to look at Leaks.

“I _said_ ,” Leaks spoke up, clearly this time. “You can’t help me.”

“Leaks…” Shui murmured, inching closer to him. Leaks slid away from him almost imperceptibly. “You don’t know that… If you would only explain to me—”

Leaks interrupted him: “Listen, _Shui_.” And although his voice was barely a breath, Shui felt its harshness into his very bones even as Leaks locked his golden gaze with his. “I don’t _need_ your help, alright? Actually, _I_ should have been the one to—” He stopped, biting his bottom lip as if to prevent himself from talking further.

Shui tried to follow Leak’s movement when he averted his gaze. “To what?”

Sighing loudly, Leaks pinched the bridge of his nose between two long fingers, head leaning forward in distress. “Nothing,” he said. He sounded tired.

Shui’s tolerance had a fairly high limit, and Leaks had, surprisingly, achieved to push him quite near it. He tried to maintain an even tone to his words when he spoke: “Could you _please_ —”

“Shui, I can’t tell you.”

“Why?!” said Shui, louder than he’d intended to. A deep frown deformed his features as he stared at Leaks’ profile, who was trying to smoothen away his own pained-looking expression with a thumb and a forefinger on his temples.

“Because there are—dangers,” said Leaks, finally, still not looking at Shui.

“Dangers? What kind of dangers?” Shui looked around them then, looking for anything suspicious hidden into the shadows of the trees surrounding them.

“Not even I,” said Leaks, “know what they are…” He pressed both palms over his face and exhaled.

Shui’s heart had slowed in his chest.

“Who… who’s threatening you?” A whisper.

“I’m not allowed to say that, either.”

“Is there anything,” said Shui, shutting his eyes tightly and drawing in a deep breath, “that you’re allowed to say? Aside from your name?”

With both of his hands folded back down over his lap, Leaks gnawed at his bottom lip for a moment, thoughtful. Then, softly: “Maybe. If I figure out how to say it.”

Shui remained in silence, his temperament mostly back at normal now that Leaks had explained himself a bit more. Patiently, he waited until Leaks finally inhaled deeply through the nose and began speaking, his soft voice carried by the gentle wind.

“Long ago… I fell in love with a man. He was—absolutely beautiful, in every possible aspect. He possessed an incomparable grace, as well as a highly enlightened mind. He was, truly, someone out of this world. To someone like myself, without any remarkable qualities, he seemed perfectly unattainable. He was—a model, of some sorts, to me. I looked up to him, tried to learn everything I could from him so, one day, I could become someone like him. Someone who would deserve honor and respect.” Leaks paused for a moment, then continued: “He was simply fascinating to everyone, and I was no exception… So you can perfectly imagine how shocked I was when he personally approached and complimented my, quote, “incredible talents.”” Shui could see then how Leaks’ lips slowly spread into a soft smile as he said that.

“From then on, the man just—stuck with me, without me really understanding why. He would call me his friend and teach me some of the things he knew and spend hours and hours talking with me. He even asked me once to teach him my “talents,” as he called them. Which were just some very simple telekinetic abilities.” Leaks shook his head lightly, the smile still there. “We had such good times together… it was—easy to be with him, in a really good way.”

“After a while, the man confessed his true feelings to me. Slowly, he told me, a deeper kind of affection towards me had bloomed inside of him, and, somewhere along the way, he’d fallen in love with me as well. I can still remember how flustered he was that time, he looked really adorable. And I remember just how surprised I was myself as well, to see my impossible dream… come true.” He sighed.

“I can still remember,” said Leaks, closing his eyes as his voice grew softer, “the moment when our lips touched for the first time.”

Shui counted four slow beats of his heart before Leaks spoke up once more.

“We were both so young… too young to realize that “our thing” would eventually come crumbling down in the worst of ways.” Shui saw Leaks clench his teeth, noticed how his fists became tight balls. “You see, relationships such as ours were—strictly prohibited at that time. And we got discovered, and the true nature of our relationship was made public,” said Leaks, trying to prevent himself from shaking all over, but failing.

Shui debated whether or not placing a comforting hand on Leaks’ shoulder. He didn’t know if it would be good or bad, not knowing how Leaks would react to the contact. His hand twitched lightly on his lap, but it remained there. He didn’t want Leaks to feel uncomfortable or pressured to continue, therefore he patiently waited until the braided man spoke up once more.

“In a fit of rage, completely unusual for the man, he violently killed the one who had exposed us. That was the moment in which the man’s true force was discovered, and he was severely punished even though he hadn’t even been conscious of his actions. He was a good man, a victim of his own nature, and I was incapable of—”

“—saving him,” murmured Shui.

All the way through his speech, Leaks had never lifted his gaze from where it laid on his lap. But upon hearing Shui’s voice, he turned to look at him, the gold of his irises somehow made brighter by the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes.

Shui pained to realize that he had stopped breathing.

After a moment, Leaks continued: “I was punished myself and sent into exile for breaking the rules. And that—that was the moment when I selfishly decided that if I couldn’t be happy with the one I loved…” Leaks’ voice wavered a little. He breathed in deeply. “Then no one deserved to.”

All the night sounds, the background noise of the city, the wind, and time itself… Everything seemed to have stopped, completely disappeared. The only things that still existed were themselves, and the old wooden bench upon which Leaks and Shui were both seated.

“ _If I couldn’t be happy with the one I loved… then no one deserved to._ ” All the provoked suicides… The “truth” Leaks had told the victims…

“Leaks…” Shui’s voice was but a thin breath.

The space between them seemed to have shortened without Shui noticing, and now their breaths mingled at they looked at each other from across the few inches separating their noses. Subconsciously, Shui had gently closed a hand around Leaks’ balled fists, trying to smoothen his white knuckles with his thumb.

“Shui, you remind me… so much about him…” Leaks’ voice was weak, debilitated by the terrible grief he had been harboring in his heart for far too long.

Warm and soft.

That’s how Leaks’ lips felt against Shui’s when the latter slowly leaned in and closed the distance between them, his heart hammering inside his chest and threatening to actually stop at any moment. Gently, carefully, Shui pressed their mouths together, feeling Leaks hesitate for a brief moment right before he pressed into the kiss as well. A switch flipped then, and Shui noticed how Leaks slowly unwound, his hands previously tight now relaxing within his, his entire body loosening and inching closer to Shui’s.

“Shui…” sighed Leaks against the Angel’s lips, his fingers ghosting over the skin of Shui’s neck, gently brushing the hair at the base of his skull.

A tremor ran down Shui’s spine, and he gripped the front of Leaks’ cloak for support as he minutely tilted his head to the side. His other hand moved up to caress Leaks’ cheek, the pads of his fingers lightly stroking ashen eyelashes and smooth skin.

Their lips slid together in perfect synch, fitting naturally against each other.

And the kiss tasted of tears. Although Shui didn’t know exactly what kind of tears.

✧ ✧ ✧

The rustling of fabric and the quiet sighs were the only sounds echoing into the room as their bodies moved together. The night lights coming in through the small window of the tiny hotel room – their brightness dimed by the opaque blind with which the opening was covered – cast shadows over both of them, adding darkness to their already black-marked skin…

As Shui sat over Leaks’ thighs, their pink dusted faces close to one another, Shui’s quivering fingertips slowly traced the black markings spread over the entirety of Leaks’ chest, shoulders, and upper arms – the only real and tangible sign indicating that he was a Demon, shamefully hidden away by his heavy black cloak before Shui had hesitantly pushed it off his shoulders, encouraged by Leaks’ approving nod.

A gasp. Shui’s vision was obscured by Leaks’ hair as the latter leaned in to press his lips to Shui’s collarbone. Leaks kissed him softly, mouth slow and careful over the delicate skin of his chest and neck even as one of his hands smoothed over Shui’s bare hips and the other stroked them both between them.

Shui’s fingers found themselves twined into the loose strands of hair Leaks had apparently failed to include into his braid, his grip inadvertently tight as he felt the tension steadily climbing within himself. His eyelids fluttered close, and his head fell back, giving Leaks’ lips more access to his skin.

Shui sighed openly, his sweet voice escaping him despite himself, his mouth disconnected from his brain as his hips grew their own consciousness and pressed harder into Leaks’ touch.

Slowly, Leaks’ free hand left Shui’s hip to trail up his side, fingers ghosting over his waist and ribs, inducing a ticklish sensation which Shui could barely even feel over the heat flaring beneath his skin. Leaks’ palm soon reached Shui’s shoulder blades, and, blindly – with his mouth still pressed to Shui’s neck –, he trailed the pads of his fingers over the black markings decorating Shui’s back, partly hidden by a curtain of soft orange hair, just as the latter had done previously on him.

With his head thrown back, Shui’s breath escaped under the form of small puffs of air from between his parted lips every time he felt Leaks’ warm tongue on his neck and his gentle fingers on his back.

And, occasionally, a name would make its way through his lips, pushed out by the pressure building deep into his core. It was the name of the man whose shoulders and hair he was gripping so tightly, trying to press him even closer against himself, never wanting him to part away from him. It was the name of the man he had met only a few days back, and somehow felt as if he’d known him his entire life. At was the man who was embracing him as well, making him feel as though the entire universe revolved around only the two of them.

The blood thrummed in his veins, hot and burning, and Shui’s eyes snapped open just as his entire body shook and blinding light burst from his back. He cried out incoherencies, broken voice mingled with short gasps as his wings spread out wide behind him, immense and majestic, the pressure in his core unravelling along with them.

Simultaneously, Leaks groaned into his neck, breathless and in bliss, pressing himself harder against Shui as warmth spread between their spent bodies.

Shui’s chest rose and fell, heaving profoundly with each deep breath he took while he kept his gaze up towards the ceiling of the dimly lit hotel room. He could feel his wings shuddering lightly in the aftermath of his high, tiny shocks of pleasure still coursing through his entire nervous system.

Once he finally was able to look down, Shui caught Leaks gaping, eyes wide in pure awe.

“Your wings… are so beautiful…” whispered Leaks, fingers gently stroking the soft white feathers as he looked over Shui’s shoulder.

Even though Leaks wasn’t looking directly at him, but rather at his wings, Shui flushed and averted his gaze. “…Thank you,” he mumbled, and then a kiss was pressed to his neck.

“You’re welcome.” Soft, just like each of his touches. His warm breath tickled Shui’s neck just a little.

Leaning back down onto the bed, Leaks brought Shui down with him pressed against his chest. They basked in the afterglow, softly stroking each other’s chest and shoulders and hair. And every once in a while Leaks’ fingers migrated back towards Shui’s wings, which were gently laid down like a blanket upon the both of them.

“I’m going to explain to the Gods. Tomorrow morning, I’ll meet them. They’ll understand,” said Shui after a while, his head resting into the crook of Leaks’ neck as he traced the black markings on his chest once more.

There was a moment of silence before Leaks replied. “I’m—not sure that they will…”

Shui lifted his face and gazed into his eyes, frowning a little. “Why do you say that?”

“Shui, I— _killed_ people.”

“Yes, I know… You weren’t right to do that, but the fact that you explained to me why you did it already changes the balance a bit on your side. The Gods will be receptive to this explanation, and I’ll convince them not to hold a trial for this. They’ll understand.”

Leaks moved his gaze towards the ceiling for a while, thoughtful, then brought it back to Shui’s face hovering above his. “You’re right, maybe they will.” He didn’t seem too convinced about his own supposition, though.

Shui flopped back down onto Leaks’ chest and sighed, suddenly feeling tired. “You stay here while I go talk to them. Everything will be okay,” he whispered.

“Everything will be okay…” repeated Leaks, and he sounded awfully doubtful, but Shui didn’t have the energy to tell him to believe. “Alright,” Leaks said then, “I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow night, at the bench.”

Shui nodded, his eyes already closed. “I’ll come to you, don’t worry…” he said, his mind already somewhere between the realm of reality and the one of dreams.

Before his consciousness fell into complete darkness, embraced by the warmth of a deep and comfortable slumber, Shui thought he’d heard Leaks whisper something—

“ _I found…_ ”

—but he couldn’t be sure about what it meant, or whether he’d dreamt it or not.

✧ ✧ ✧

The following morning Shui woke up to a pleasant warmth inside his chest—and an empty bed. He frowned, confused. He was sure the events of the previous night couldn’t have been a dream, so he lifted himself up on his elbows and looked around the room to see if Leaks was still there. His eyes fell upon a small note left onto the nightstand.

_Shui,_

_I’m sorry I couldn’t be there on the moment that you woke up. As a Demon, I cannot be outside of my realm while there is daylight on Earth, so I had to leave before the sun peeked over the horizon._

_As I said last night, I’ll be waiting for you at the bench after the sun goes down, so please meet me there. Be safe._

_Leaks—_

Shui smiled. Before getting to know Leaks he would have never thought he was the type to care for anyone else beside themselves. It was a strange misconception about the Demon that he was glad to have cleared.

Carefully folding the note, he put it into one of his pants’ pockets, then rested his head back onto the pillow for a while.

With his cheek pressed to the soft fabric of the pillow, he thought about what he felt and had felt during the hours spent with Leaks.

First, getting closer to Leaks had made him feel something he’d never felt before, a sort of—connection with another soul. Which was odd because Leaks, as a Demon, didn’t possess a soul.

Second, getting to know Leaks’ story had made him feel an unequaled sorrow. He wondered about how difficult it must have been for Leaks to survive his lover’s death. He wondered what kind of punishment he had gone through, and who had forced it upon him. Maybe, one day, Leaks would tell him.

But, for the moment, he had to meet the Gods and explain to them everything he’d heard from Leaks. After that, and only then would both of them be able to see each other again and talk calmly once more.

Slowly, Shui got up from the bed and began making his preparations to leave. He wouldn’t be needing the shirt and jacket anymore, so he folded them neatly and put them down on the nightstand along with the money to pay for the expenses of his five-night stay at the hotel.

Placing himself in the center of the small room, facing the small window on the wall, Shui closed his eyes, drew in a deep inhale—and bolted towards the wall.

The portal opened itself up in front of him the moment he took flight.

✧ ✧ ✧

The wait seemed painfully long for Shui, the anticipation of the moment on which he would see Shui once again making him feel strange things in the bottom of his stomach. But he was forced by his own nature to hold back from visiting the Human world during the day, because if he did he would simply turn to ashes.

Therefore, Leaks waited. And waited… and waited until the time came for him to traverse the border between the two worlds and appear on the bench as he’d done countless time before. Only, now he did it while driven by something like happiness, instead of the sorrow he felt each time he prepared himself to talk to the people who were madly in love with each other.

After his arrival, the wait at the bench was longer and even more frustrating. And as the hours passed, Leaks grew more and more dubious about the situation.

 _Shui—wouldn’t go back on his promise… right?_ he thought, feeling something blocking his throat as his worry slowly started to peak.

After midnight had long passed and gone, Leaks realized, shockingly, that Shui wouldn’t be coming to their meeting point after all.

He got up from the hard seat and began pacing back and forth onto the dirt path in front of it. He never thought it would come down to—that. But if it was needed of him, then he would do it.

Leaks decided to finally go back to the world he’d been banished from long ago.

✧ ✧ ✧

When Shui awoke, he was surrounded by deep darkness. Unable to see anything at all, for a moment he thought he’d gone completely blind, although he didn’t know why. And then, after a few seconds, he remembered—

The heavy shackles and chains binding his wrists at his back clashed as he jerked, trying to get up from the cold ground.

“Oh, you’re awake,” said a voice then, farther to his right. A voice he horrifyingly recognized all too well. “Just in time for the lovely reunion.”

Unknown hands guided him as he got up on his feet, and then took away the blindfold from his eyes. Though he didn’t dare opening his eyes just yet, terribly scared of what he was going to see if he did. But—

“Daddy!”

His eyes snapped open, pupils blown wide in alert as he turned his head to the right to look at where the high-pitched voice had come from.

Konoe… His beautiful son was there, far away and out of reach, looking at him with confusion written all over his tiny features, the hand of the God of Life resting calmly upon his shoulder with the rest of the Assembly of Gods at their back. Standing in the Divine Room, their thrones forgotten behind them, they seemed to be watching the scenery unfold with cruel satisfaction.

“Daddy, what’s happening?” said Konoe, his voice shaking. Shui felt his insides shrink painfully at that.

“I don’t know, Konoe. I don’t know… but it’ll be over soon. I promise, okay?” said Shui, immediately regretting his words. He gulped down rather difficultly, his throat having gone dry all of a sudden.

The God of Life cleared their throat. “Well,” they said, “if you don’t know what’s happening, maybe we could get someone to explain the situation to you.”

They pointed before them, and Shui followed the direction of their finger, his head slowly turning left until he saw what was there…

His breath caught in his throat, and his heart stopped beating inside his chest. Shui had never seen the black wings, covered in thin scales and reminiscent of those of the dragons he’d seen in the mystical history books of the Palace, but he’d certainly recognize the black markings on the bare chest and that braid anywhere.

“…Leaks?” Shui’s voice was a mere breath, but it carried over perfectly to Leaks’ ears through the silence of the vast Assembly room.

The one in question didn’t budge, his hands heavily shackled behind him just like Shui, his indecipherable mask back in place as he stared straight ahead of him, to the God of Life – no, to Konoe.

“Let the child go. Whatever’s going on he doesn’t have anything to do with it,” said Leaks, and his firm tone resonated in every corner of the Divine Room, its usually calm atmosphere now filled to the brim with tension and insecurity.

“But you _do_ know what’s going on, and you know why we won’t let the child go,” replied the God of Life, matter-of-factly, as if it was obvious to everyone in the room.

Though Shui didn’t understand what he meant, Leaks seemed to have as he immediately lost all the color on his already pale features.

“…No.” If Leaks’ voice had seemed powerful just a moment ago, it was now nothing more than a whisper.

Shui took a step forward. The chains rattled behind him and winced when he realized that his wings were being held back by invisible hands behind him. “Leaks, what’s going on?” He could feel his own body shaking as he waited for something, anything in reply – but it also felt like someone else’s body and not his own.

“Yes, Leaks. Tell us what’s going on, if you may,” said the God of Life.

Shui saw a muscle slide in Leaks’ jaw at that, a contradictory debate surely taking place inside of him as all eyes were laid on him, expecting something… completely other to what Leaks said then.

“I think… Shui is smart enough to understand.” And for the first time Leaks turned to look at Shui, nodding in his direction thought Shui didn’t understand why.

The God of Life tried to keep his soft, impassive tone as he spoke, but the slight confusion in his voice was unmistakable. “But Shui doesn’t know the truth.”

From the corner of his eye, Shui saw the heads of the rest of Assembly of Gods turn towards the God of Truth. The latter only shook their head and shrugged, clearly the most confused of them all as he had surely been unable perceive if Leaks had indeed told the truth to Shui or not.

“Believe me, even though he might not know the truth,” murmured Leaks, his eyes still locked to Shui’s, “he’ll find it in himself.”

Shui just stared at him, unaware of the deep frown and slackened jaw his face was producing, unaware of the seven lifted eyebrows and piercing gazes directed towards him from his right.

“Come on,” said Leaks. “Think about the question that I asked you back then.”

Shui blinked. “The question…?”

He dug into his memory, searching for the question Leaks was referring to. The question that was supposed to make him find the truth inside of him. Eventually, he found it.

“ _Did you think about what you really want to know?_ ”

Shui’s eyes widened, realization dawning on him in that instant as all the pieces of the puzzle finally fell into place. Somehow, he felt like he’d known all along. And maybe he had, but hadn’t allowed himself to realize it. But he could see it clearly now, the truth of it all…

“The man—in your story. That was me, right?” whispered Shui, and Leaks nodded. Shui continued, his knees growing weaker with every word that left through his trembling lips: “We were together before, we had already met back when you were—an Angel. Then we were discovered, and we were punished and something else happened to me and—”

…and he realized that all of his life was made of fake memories.

“You couldn’t save me from getting my memory was taken away from me,” Shui finished in a single breath, his bewildered eyes slowly turning to where the Gods stood. He drew in a deep breath. “I know what I want to know now, and it’s why the Gods did that to me.”

Shui almost expected one of them to say the famous “ _As expected of our best Angel_ ” as slight disgust rose within him.

The God of Life quirked an eyebrow at him. “Whatever Leaks told you, he must have surely let you know that you killed someone—a fellow Angel—back then.”

“He did… but that doesn’t really explain why you took my memories away,” said Shui, the tremors coursing through his body now produced by increasing anger.

“I guess that—in light of the current events, we can disclose that,” came the God of Life, their hand still on Konoe’s shoulder.

Shui felt like he now remembered how it felt to want to kill someone.

“By know you must have figured that you killed one of your comrades for the sake of continuing your proscribed relationship with Leaks,” they said, nonchalant. “But _how_ you killed them, and how that relates to your true nature are the things that you don’t know.”

“You see, you are the last living Angel issued from an extremely powerful race. A race of Angels which, in some cases, had come to be even more powerful than us, the Gods. But, thankfully, we had always managed to keep them under control. As the centuries passed, the number of Angels which belonged to your race slowly began decreasing—males and females grew infertile and unable to procreate, and it was something we could do nothing about as we are only here to preserve the serenity in the flow of life, not to preserve life itself.”

Shui felt his guts twist inside of him.

“You were born as a miracle, not long after your father’s death. And your mother, sadly, did not manage to survive your birth...” The God of Life closed his eyes solemnly and drew in a deep breath after that. Then, he continued: “Having been graced with the last birth of an incredibly powerful being, naturally we wanted to have you by our side. We doted on you ever since the first moments of your life, we made of you the pride of the Palace and always treated you with higher respect than any other Angel, we loved you very deeply, just like your own parents would have…”

“But then, when we thought that we’d raised you to be the perfect Angel that we’d always thought you’d be, you approached Leaks,” they spoke, their voice turning minutely harsher as they turned their deep gaze towards Leaks.

“How do you think that we felt,” said the God of Life, “when we got to know that our precious Angel Shui was hanging around with a lowly bastard such as Leaks?”

Leaks flushed deeply, and he opened his mouth to growl, “ _Don’t_.”

An evil grin pulled up the corners of the God of Life’s mouth. “Of course, I’d forgotten Leaks doesn’t like it when we reveal that his father was a detestable Human.”

The chains shook and rattled, but Leaks was unable to free himself from the heavy metal which was highly secured into the white marble floor. Shui was appalled, unable to move from his own spot, only his gaze shifting back and forth from Leaks’ mortified expression to the God of Life’s amused one.

“You, Shui, with the energy kept within yourself and issued from a long line of already powerful ancestors, destroyed this entire room and killed a true Angel while trying to salvage your relationship with this half-Human.”

Shui’s mind somehow managed to register his surroundings, about the hundreds of square meters upon which sat the seven heavy thrones and the many more numerous tall white columns, about the enormous crystal windows, about the ceilings which seemed to reach higher than what an Angel could reach flying. He felt breathless. He couldn’t have been the one to have done something like that…

“That is why, when we managed to get you back in control—only when you were too exhausted to keep your energy flowing—we completely erased your memories, so that we could hold back your power and keep you on our side for as long as we could. Of course, Leaks was punished as well—his soul was burned and he was sent to the Underworld with a warning…” they trailed off, lifting an eyebrow in Leaks’ direction.

Leaks spoke with his eyes closed, saying the words as if they’d been imprinted into his mind with a hot iron: “ _Do not dare speaking the truth. If you do, lamentable things will happen._ ”

There was a short silence, interrupted by Leaks as his eyes snapped open and he shouted, “The child!”

Shui realized that _that_ was the danger Leaks had mentioned, dutifully keeping the truth away from Shui when he’d spoken to him because even he, himself, had been kept into the shadows. “ _Not even I know what they are…_ ”

Vaguely, Shui could hear Leaks shouting from where he stood. “You _never_ said that there would be a life put at stake. A child’s life, at that!”

“It is simply something we decided along the way,” was response given by the God of Life, as if it that solved the issue perfectly.

As he gazed down to the floor, eyes unfocused, Shui’s trembling lips parted, and the words came out of his mouth before they’d even been processed by his brain: “Release my child. Your accusation doesn’t stand because Leaks never spoke the actual truth of the facts to me. He kept his promise.”

There was a soft snicker, and when Shui was finally able to lift his gaze from the ground he found the God of Life slowly clapping his hands in his direction.

“Bravo, Shui. You realized that this isn’t an accusation towards Leaks—or, at least, not _only_ towards him,” the God of Life spoke softly, his tone dangerously even. “ _You_ are at fault as well.”

“No, he’s not! Let him and his child g—” With one swift gesture of their hand, the God of Life ordered Leaks to be gagged by invisible hands.

Struggling against it, but unable to get rid of the piece of cloth stuffed into his mouth, Leaks turned his eyes towards Shui—and there was something akin to despair in them. Shui felt like his heart had been traversed by a sharp piece of ice.

“Let us tell you, Leaks,” said the God of Life then, “why Shui is at fault, since you don’t seem to be able to understand it by yourself.” And they gestured towards the God of Loyalty.

Stepping forward beside the God of Life, the other one spoke in a tone too soft to fit the situation. “Shui’s loyalty has shifted. While he used to be loyal to us, the Gods, and to all the Angels living in Palace in which he was born himself, he is now loyal to—Leaks,” they finished with a slight expression of repugnance, as if the name tasted bitter on their tongue.

Shui’s heart throbbed hard in his chest, and, through his unsteady vision, he saw the moment when Leaks’ knees gave in helplessly beneath him and he fell down, his chin resting heavily atop his chest and his disheveled hair falling ungraciously about his face.

A wail, muffled by the damp fabric, but still loud enough to be heard throughout the entire room, rose from within Leaks’ powerless body, the painful sound echoing for long seconds in the vast interior of the room. After a moment had passed and the echo had subsided, he groaned, trying to make out words through the gag in his mouth.

With another gesture from the God of Life, the piece of cloth fell from Leaks’ lips.

Keeping his head down, Leaks only breathed heavily for a long moment. Shui could see clear liquid dripping from his face and onto the floor, but he couldn’t figure out if it was made out of tears or drool as part of Leaks’ ashen brown hair still fell like a curtain over his face.

Then, Leaks finally spoke up, his weak voice somehow carrying over to everyone in the room. “It’s not Shui’s fault.”

There was a short silence during which Shui could hear the beat of his own heart hammering in his ears, almost deafening.

“Are you maybe insinuating that you used your deceptive powers on Shui?” the God of Life questioned him.

“…Yes.”

Shui had to force himself to continue breathing. That was _not_ true, and he was certain of it.

“This time, he is definitely lying,” said the God of Truth then, and Shui never thought he’d ever be so grateful towards them one day.

“So what if I’m lying. Just— _please_ —let Shui and his son go unharmed,” implored Leaks. He seemed to be on the verge of madness.

“But there needs to be a punishment,” said the God of Life. “ So, what do you propose that it is, Leaks?”

Shui wanted to speak up, stop this insane situation before it spiralled completely out of control.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t find his voice, couldn’t find the strength in himself that would help him defend Leaks as Leaks was trying to defend Shui, and with so many difficulties at that.

“ _I couldn’t save him._ ” Leaks had told him the previous night. Leaks hadn’t been able to save Shui that time they were discovered and punished and Shui’s memories had been taken away, and he was trying to save him now. The realization of that hit Shui as hard as if he’d been repeatedly elbowed into the stomach.

And he never thought that what Leaks would say next would mean that everything had definitely come to an end.

“My only crime was to love you, and if I have to be punished for that, then so be it. I will never, ever regret the feelings that I had and still have for you,” said Leaks, voice broken as he lifted his gaze towards Shui. And Shui realized then that what had dripped onto the floor were Leaks’ tears. The molten gold of Leaks’ irises made Shui’s heart feel as if it were on fire. Then, Leaks turned his determined gaze towards the Gods and spoke up once more, “If you want to take a life so badly, spare Konoe’s and take mine.” Leaks gulped down heavily, and finished: “I beg you.”

Shui felt the change in the atmosphere as Leaks’ words continued to reverberate in everybody’s ears after he’d finished speaking. He saw the God of Life’s eyebrows rise in unexpected satisfaction.

He thought he heard someone screaming.

Shui was jerking violently, blind with pure anger and rage and hate, all the air in his lungs pushed out by every single bit of energy he still held into his body as he shouted irrationally. He couldn’t feel his body anymore, couldn’t feel as his once magnificent wings tore and broke under the pressure of the invisible hands still holding onto them, feathers flying all around him as he shook uncontrollably, couldn’t feel as the shackles around his wrists bit into his skin, tearing the tissue apart until the cool metal touched bone.

“You should be the ones to die!” A blood-curdling scream.

“That is treason and you know it, Shui,” the voice was calm, as if it were a normal conversation.

“I do know it! But I don’t care anymore!” The chains continued to rattle, and, for a moment, every one who was witnessing the scene thought they would actually give in to Shui’s strength… until Shui stopped moving altogether, his chest rising and falling painfully. “…This just doesn’t make any sense.”

The loud silence only lasted for a brief moment.

“Shui, your bright mind doesn’t seem to have caught up,” said the God of Wisdom. It was the first time they had dared to speak ever since the beginning of the “reunion”. They continued: “Leaks was never meant to make it out alive from this. He has caused too much trouble. Even once he was banished from the Palace he continued to cause problems. He is an overgrown weed, which we should have eradicated long ago.”

Somehow, the shackles and invisible holds keeping Shui tightly bound suddenly disappeared. Unstable, he staggered on his feet, his brain barely registering that he was finally free and where he was walking to until he felt himself fall down to the ground, kneeling beside Leaks. His hand moved on its own, fingers gently brushing Leaks’ hair away from his eyes and wiping the tears away from his cheeks. Shui tasted salt on his own lips.

Leaks’ eyes, devoid of the light Shui had once seen in them, lifted towards Shui when he spoke. “I’m glad… That I found you again, and that we got to be together even for a short while,” he said, pressing his cheek into Shui’s palm. Although he had been released from his shackles as well, he couldn’t do more than that.

“Don’t say it like it’s over.” A broken whisper. Shui’s vision blurred as new tears began streaming down his cheeks, and he pressed his forehead to Leaks’ as if that single small action would make everything better. But the pain in his heart wouldn’t go away.

Leaks sighed, his warm and quivering breath brushing Shui’s tear streaked cheeks ever so gently. “But Shui…”

Leaning away from Leaks, Shui saw him gazing down at his lap, and he followed his gaze down towards the place where a new weight had appeared…

A dagger.

The unspoken words hung heavily above them, and Shui sobbed in spite of himself.

“I’m not—”

“You have to,” said Leaks, his voice unwavering. “You do it, or I will. Please.”

For the first time, Shui actually wished everything was just a bad dream. He wanted to close his eyes and wake up in the tiny hotel room he’d left back in the Human world, with Leaks’ arms rounding his waist as both of them listened closely to each others’ heartbeats, their breaths mingling together.

Although the past was imperfect he wanted to find its calm and ease once more.

But Leaks’ tears and his own bloody wrists looked far too real to be part of a dream. And the pain he felt inside of him was too deep, to terrible to be the product of his imagination.

“Shui, do it. Or else I’ll…” Leaks trailed off, one hand slowly coming to grasp the dagger, fingers barely touching the hilt before Shui snatched it away. A weak smile pulled at the corners of Leaks’ lips. “You’re doing exactly what you wanted to do, you know? You’re helping me. And I’m finally fulfilling the promise I wasn’t able to keep back then—I saved you, and Konoe as well.”

Konoe… Konoe… Did his young child even understand what was happening? Shui didn’t know. He hoped that the Gods had, at least, had the decency to block his vision.

“This isn’t—” Shui gasped, unable to contain his sobs, “—how I wanted to help you…”

“It doesn’t matter! Do it, Shui!” Leaks shouted, angry and hurt beyond what was reasonable, and there was nothing else for Shui to do but to drive the blade into Leaks’ body.

He heard Leaks gasp loudly, all the breath squeezed out of his chest by the shock of the sudden impact, saw his eyes widen and his pupils contract in an instant as his entire body shivered.

With a hand around Shui’s shoulders, fingers digging subconsciously into the soft skin, Leaks wrapped his free fingers around Shui’s hand grasping the dagger and pressed it further into himself, angling it upwards and into his lungs. Leaks shook violently against him, and for a moment Shui hoped their roles had been inverted, Leaks holding the blade and piercing through his body.

Shui released the weapon and held Leaks’ body into his arms as the latter slumped against him, his black wings limp against his back.

“That—hurts,” murmured Leaks, and he had the audacity to _chuckle_.

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.”

Still, Shui couldn’t help but be. He wanted to apologize for this, for everything.

And the tears flowed without end, slowly trailing down his cheeks and onto Leaks’ own, whose head was pressed into the crook of Shui’s neck.

After a moment of heavy silence, Leaks brought a hand over Shui’s shoulder and hesitantly touched one of his wings. Shui barely felt the contact, realizing then that there was probably something very wrong with his wings.

“Your wings—are broken…” said Leaks, and the words came out difficulty through his quivering lips as he wheezed. “But you’re still as beautiful as ever.”

Leaks smiled at him, and blinked slowly one last time with his unfocused eyes, the breath which left his lungs never to enter them again.

The Divine Room was silent again, with a fallen Angel at its center.

Shui had been loyal to Leaks until the very last moment, obeying to his last demand even though it had successfully made Shui break apart.

Carefully, he laid down Leaks’ lifeless body onto the beautiful white marble floor. Shui gently brushed away the hair from his face and closed his eyes before he leaned in to press a kiss to the smooth skin of each of his eyelids.

“I promise you, we will meet again in another world, or in another life. I will always be looking for you, Leaks,” Shui whispered.

He stood up, and if his legs were actually shaking he couldn’t feel the tremors – or his legs – anymore. He turned around to face the Gods and began walking towards them. Konoe was nowhere in sight, and that partly reassured him at least.

Shui walked without seeing even though his gaze was set directly on his goal. He could feel the sorrow and furry and pain and anger blinding him, crushing his insides, propelling him forward. The energy which had been buried deep inside of him for so long vibrated under his skin, threatening to overflow at any moment.

There he was, the God of Life. The one who had provoked all of this, the one who had lied to him all his life, the one who had killed Leaks and broken Shui’s mind. And he was going to hill him and anyone who tried to stop him from doing so.

Before Shui could become aware of it, the God of Memory entered his line of sight. They raised a hand before them, fingers pointing upwards.

And everything became pure white.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry aaa but i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless ;w;
> 
> kuroosthighz & clara-wrote-once | tumblr


End file.
